Julie 2 movie review: Raai Laxmi is clueless in Pahlaj Nihalani’s weirdly trippy movie. Zero star

Film reviews

Julie two is a waste of time.

    Julie two
    Raai Laxmi, Aditya Srivastav, Pankaj Tripathi
    Director: Deepak Shivdasani
    Rating: 0/5

    If Julie (Raai Laxmi) wakes up in the daytime using make-up on and yawns seductively right in the very first scene, you know she believes in the movie’s tagline: hot, beautiful, lucky. Even then, you don’t expect what’s coming for you till she breaks the fourth wall (doesn’t seem intentional though) and says, “I am the very best.” Alright then. We think you, for the next 20 seconds perhaps, as you’ve guaranteed a hell lotta interesting.

    Obviously, everybody wants Julie’s body. Still, to remove any iota of doubt, Julie speaks in public attention, “Sabko Julie ka sharir chahiye lekin utilize sirf pyaar chahiye.” I really don’t think anyone apart from her at the whole film really understands it. You are in the wrong film, Raai Laxmi.

    Julie ‘compromises’ and manages to turn into a very big star. So big that she catches the eye of a French filmmaker named Jean Claude who will earn a film for her Hindi. It is strangely satisfying to see that a foreigner as clueless as us in the film. Maybe this is exactly why Pahlaj Nihalani decided to ‘present’ this film. He certainly wanted a new excursion after his stint at the censor board.

    Anyway, Julie, the sweet child of Jesus (I swear that they say this in the film), goes to get jewellery shopping when a few gun-toting weirdos attack the shop. They intend to kill our girl together with machine guns. Who knows they may have left a tank out! They most likely don’t understand that Julie lives alone in a mansion with barely any staff around. Why am I even doing this?

    Inspector Abhijeet of all CID, err, ACP Devdutt (Aditya Srivastava) is investigating the case. Allow me to clarify how he feels in the film. He says, “Sooraj barf pighla sakta hai aur ek shilpkar ki murti bhi sakht kar sakta hai (The sun can melt the ice and one sculptor may even dry a sculpture). Literal translation, I understand. But he says this as his debut line, for no apparent reason. I am yet to find out the circumstance of his dialogue when there was no. He never explains it either. Maybe the manager wasn’t on the group and Srivastava have a opportunity to do anything he wanted to.

    However, he does describe himself after punching a sidekick, “Ye dhai kilo ka nahi, dhai feet ka haath hai.” We did not deserve this. In fact, I did not deserve this since there wasn’t anybo dy else in the theatre.

    For some odd reason, every time they play Julie’s theme, it seemed like ‘Nayak nahi khalnayak hoon primary’ On top of that, Raai Laxmi really says, “Apni baat keh ke mere dil ka bojh utar gaya, ab bahut halka mehsoos kar rahi hoon (I am feeling mild after pouring out my heart).” That had to occur, since our hearts are loaded now.

    It was much better to visit Rati Agnihotri because Akshay Kumar’s mother in Singh Can Be Bliing compared to see her since Raai Laxmi’s guardian angel Annie in Julie 2. Apart from telling us, “Julie certainly Jesus ki beti hai”, she appears on the verge of yelling during the film. This might take a toll on her health when she doesn’t overlook this film real quickly.

    From a beggar named Ambani into a southern film star Ravi Kumar (Ravi Kishan), Julie two is a mish-mash of amazing characters. Kishan’s celebrity talks in heavy Bhojpuri accent and Ambani calls Raai Laxmi ‘Maai’ (mommy). This is surreal.

    In between bizarre and shocking, Raai Laxmi keeps gyrating in body-hugging suits and shiny bikinis. She dances to a tune titled ‘Malasina (or Mala Sinha!)) Dikhayegi Filmy Dance’. She’s oohs and aahs, also unhooks her bra two or two, to allow it to function, but all in vain.

    But you understand what seals the deal for Julie two? It is when Aditya Srivastava whispers, “Thank you for sharing Julie’s story” Yeah, right. Zero star.

    Interact with Rohit Vats at Twitter/@nawabjha